My visit to the Democratic National Convention in Denver

Since it was just a few miles down the road, I took the afternoon off and went with a good friend to the Democratic National Convention in downtown Denver, Colorado. We didn't have any sort of pass or ticket to get into any events, but we figured, ah, what the heck, let's see what we can see. And see we did...

The following are the pictures I took on our afternoon of wandering around, starting with us scoring free tickets to the Panel on Combating Global Poverty and listening to two hours of very interesting discussion and commentary on the global crisis in poverty. Here's a peek:

Going left to right is Ben Affleck, actor/advocate; Nancy Birdsall, president of the Center for Global Development; Obiageli "Oby" Ezekwesili, vice president of the African Region of the World Bank; Donald Payne, U.S. Representative, New Jersey; and program moderator Gayle Smith, senior fellow at the Center for American Progress.

Not shown in the above picture were additional panelists Tom Daschle, former U.S. Senate majority leader and national co-chairman of ONE Vote '08; Hernando de Soto, president of the Institute for Liberty and Democracy and co-chair of the Commission on Legal Empowerment of the Poor; Tim Wirth, former U.S. Senator and CEO of the United Nations Foundation; James Wolfensohn, former president of the World Bank; Nancy Birdsall, president of the Center for Global Development.

I'll say that Affleck was alright, Albright was unsurprisingly engaging, Birdsall was passionate but the man who really impressed both Klaus and I was Peruvian Hernando de Soto. Brilliant, coherent, thoughtful and modest speaker, I'm fired up to find out more about this man and learn more about his vision of a Latin America and, more generally, a world without poverty.

But let's get on with those pictures, eh? :-)

This guy in the pedicab was a great example of the intersection of politics, local pedal power and technology. Moments after I took this photo the crowd swarmed around him, but whatever this chap was talking about was sufficiently important that he was completely oblivious to everyone on the street.

The next few pics are why I started to wonder a few times whether I was in America or some police state. Check it out:

Where does the little podunk city of Aurora keep this scary black vehicle anyway? Also, remember that blue elephant. We'll revisit it again later in this blog entry. :-)

And another one:

Did you know that the police had armored golf carts? I want one!

Now you know why police SUVs have running boards, I suppose.

This just reminded me of one of those silly Police Academy movies, "Citizens on Patrol". But the difference? These cops were all seriously bad muthas, from what we could see behind the big steel riot fence.

We also wandered around and saw at least one little media zoo, the CNN DNC stage, set up in a parking lot by the train station:

When CNN has establishing shots that show their background, it's the nicely lit neon "Union Station" sign, which is actually in the far background, because in the middle background in that same direction is this:

Could you ask for anything more appropriate than the party train? :-)

There really was a lot of media on the ground at the DNC, I have to say, including people bicycling past with $5000 HD video cameras strapped to their backs and cameraman/commentators who were running along filming and talking into their fancy microphone at the same time.

And lots of interviews. Like this one:

The final few photos are related to a Rage Against the Machine (the band) sponsored protest march that wound its way from the Colosseum to the Pepsi Center (the center of the DNC activities):

Honestly, they were a bit scroungy and it was hard to figure out what they were protesting about. I think the unifying issue was being anti-war, but without any suggestions of how to address the fact that we do have troops in Iraq and we are involved, it seemed like a bunch of posers having a lark.

Except for the very last piece of the parade. A big blue inflated elephant which, naturally, we took for something from the DNC itself. But it wasn't. It was for a porn site:

And with that last picture, I wish you all well and thank you for sharing my photo tour!

How to ensure safety while letting my daughter get her own email address?

The tempest has come home: my 11yo daughter A- has begun communicating via email with her out of state cousin. Nothing amazingly new, except we've kept our children off the computer completely so it is a brave new world. To date, email from the cousin is sent to Linda, who then shows it to A-, who then uses Linda's account to compose a response or new message.

Alright, I say begrudgingly, maybe, just maybe it's time to let her have an email account of her own, as a step towards being an autonomous young adult on the Internet.

But the Internet is a scary place, she's 11 and used to us protecting her and shielding her from the rough edges of life. I'm concerned.

Here's what I've proposed...

Here's what I sent to Linda in response to her suggestion that we let A- have her own Gmail account. My proposed terms were:

1. We always both know her account password. I would also like to consider setting up a mail filter on her Gmail account so that any messages she receives are automatically also forwarded to both of us so we can keep an eye on things benevolently.

2. You and I define exactly when and how she can access her email, whether it’d be during school days, etc., and stick to it religiously.

3. We come up with a solution that makes it clear the younger kids (e.g. G-, our 8yo boy) are not part of this club. Maybe make it a privilege of turning 10? Or wait until A-'s next birthday and make it a 12yo rite of passage?

The editorial comment that I included: "I want us to go into this with our eyes wide open. I read a lot about kids who make connections under their parents noses that then prove harmful, so I want us to go very, very slowly with this and ensure that we can help keep A- safe as long as possible. I’m happy erring on the side of paranoia in this instance."

So, blogging community and fellow parents: am I erring on the side of paranoia? Is this too much? Too little? How do you let your children - esp. younger children - have their freedom and independence while you are still able to keep a benevolent eye on them and ensure that they're safe and not exposed to crappy spam and online weirdos?

When you need to keep track of your nursing schedule

A few days ago, I was surprised and intrigued to see an application show up at the Apple iPhone Application Store that helped women keep track of when they were nursing their baby. I communicated with the program author and found out that it was actually a team: a woman who had the need for the application and a man who actually wrote the program itself. A bit of discussion and I ended up with two short interviews, one with each person. The more techie interview with the programmer I'll be putting online elsewhere (and will link to it here once it's online).

Mostly I think I was just a bit confused why women would need to track their nursing in the first place, so I asked Heather for some background. Please read on...

Q: When Linda nursed our children, I don't recall us tracking anything. They just free nursed. Why would women have to track their nursing?

A: After I delivered my son, the hospital sent me home with a breastfeeding chart so that I could log my times and track my feedings. As a first time mom who had no idea what she was doing the chart was a helpful guide. Tracking allowed me to see if I had nursed the recommended number of times (8-12 times in a 24-hour period).

I was sleep deprived and overwhelmed, it was hard to remember what day it was let alone when the last time I nursed. I realized that if I was able to get in all my feedings during the day, the result was a well fed happy baby that slept the entire night! When you look back at the log, it is inspirational and tells you how well you are doing.

Continues...

Continue reading When you need to keep track of your nursing schedule

Why do people divorce, and how can you heal from a divorce?

I recently had a chance to interview Jeannine Lee, facilitator for Fisher Rebuilding divorce recovery seminars, about divorce and why the workshop can be so valuable for people who are getting a divorce or already divorced. Fair disclosure: I have gone through this course myself and am now a volunteer for the Fisher Rebuilding Divorce Recovery Seminars. This article is long, but I think it's well worth reading.

Q: Based on my own personal experience, there are a distressing number of people going through divorces. Why do you think there are so many divorces?

That’s a big question, but I can think of several reasons...

Continue reading Why do people divorce, and how can you heal from a divorce?

Hey Dads, don't give up on your kids!

I don't know if it's just complete coincidence or something more curious, but in the last ten days or so I have had three conversations with men about how some men who leave a relationship leave not just their wife or partner, but their children too.

Most recently, someone named "David" left a comment elsewhere on this blog saying:

"She took her rings off over two and a half years ago. I haven't given up yet. I don't know how much longer I can deal with it though. Once it's over I'll have to leave the state. My boys are grown, but my daughter is still only 11."

My earlier conversation with another Dad had quite the opposite skew, and yet...

Continue reading Hey Dads, don't give up on your kids!

The dangers of going off-schedule: The day from Hell

One thing I am learning as a separated / divorcing parent of younger children is the consequence - the really bad consequence - of going off schedule after finally establishing a routine. Today, I'm sorry to say, was the poster example of how family dynamics can add up to drive everyone crazy rather than establish harmony when things get too far off track.

And yet, somehow this is the inevitable result of summer activity, with travel that perforce can't be with both parents. Ten days ago we were all in a good routine and, at my house at least, everyone was happy, calm, pleasant and we had a good time and fun weekends. Not idyllic, but not too bad, all in all. Made me feel like I was doing pretty well as a single dad.

This week I wanted to take my kids to visit my folks out of state, however, so that ended up where the littlest (4) stayed home with Mom while the two older kids (8 and 11) flew out to LA with me for Sunday-Thursday. Our routine, however, has all three with Mom Monday-Thursday evenings for the summer.

Continue reading The dangers of going off-schedule: The day from Hell

Finally, my kids are ready to enjoy art galleries!

I am so, so psyched! We've been visiting my folks in Southern California (yes, we were here for today's 5.3 earthquake. We were in the car and thought the engine was misfiring!) and staying at the lovely Ayers Hotel.

They're very nicely appointed hotels, super comfy beds and lots of classic paintings (reproductions, obviously) hanging in the hallways to add a touch of elegance and class.

This evening G-, my 8yo, A-, my 11yo, and I spent twenty minutes walking around and they were really into looking at the differences between the art and listening to me explain basic compositional rules. Yay!

Continue reading Finally, my kids are ready to enjoy art galleries!

Hey Mattel! Now you can put Bratz to sleep once and for all

After a hotly contested court case between huge toy conglomerate Mattel and MGA Entertainment, it looks like Mattel might actually be given back profits and the intellectual property that comprises the entire Bratz line.

Here's the thing though: I hate the entire concept behind the Bratz toys and am frankly aghast that any parents buy it.

Continue reading Hey Mattel! Now you can put Bratz to sleep once and for all

Good adventure books for 8yo boy?

It's very exciting to see my son G- learn how to read! Six months ago he was proud to sound out rudimentary street signs and newspaper headlines, and now he's leaped straight to "level 4" beginning reader books, skipping the first three levels.

Important caveat: my kids are in a Waldorf school, and the Waldorf educational approach has them starting reading later than more traditional pedagogical approaches, it's typically not until 2nd grade that they really get going. A-, 11yo, is an extraordinarily strong reader, so I have quite a bit of confidence in the approach...

Anyway, the problem is that G- wants to read books that are topically a bit beyond where I think he's comfortable...

Continue reading Good adventure books for 8yo boy?

Flip-flops for a good cause, spread the word

In a tragic event last May, our friend and neighbor Steve Parrish lost his college-age son, and Lesley, his daughter and our occasional babysitter, lost her brother, in a mugging gone wrong while he was on spring break in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Watching them come to peace with the terrible occurrence has been an amazing thing. I'm not sure I would ever have the grace to manage even half as well, and certainly hope never to find out.

As part of their healing process, they've really focused on turning the tragedy into something positive, and in that light, when they sent me a note about the organization Soles4Souls, I wanted to spread the word more widely, hence this posting. Please, read through what they're doing and consider quite seriously buying a pair or two of these flip-flops. Thanks.

Through an amazing and emotional connection Lesley (my daughter) and I have been working closely with Soles4Souls to develop special flip-flops in my son David’s memory with the intent of providing very basic footwear to those in need in Africa (primarily because of David’s African roots).

Soles4Souls has arranged a program where 2 pairs of flip-flops will be donated for every pair purchased. This program is mentioned as part of the rotating headline banner on their site plus it is described more fully on the site under “Ways to help”.

Continue reading Flip-flops for a good cause, spread the word

The power of reflective listening

This last weekend was a rare treat: five days of solo time with G-, my 8yo son, and it was a delight. Five days of "dude time" with lots of bonding. We both really had a great weekend, and a busy one too, including hanging out with friends watching the final match of the Euro 2008 soccer competition.

Most of the time, of course, A-, my 11yo, and K-, my 4yo, are in the mix too, and while they all get along pretty well in the big picture, there are unquestionably moments when they aren't communicating clearly or their individual needs are, um, blinding them to the more harmonious path. (Did I phrase that elegantly enough?)

Continue reading The power of reflective listening

How we're managing Video Game Time

Okay, this is an update following my earlier plea for help metering video game time. You should start by reading that blog entry and seeing what I wrote about and, more importantly, the great comments people left with their own ideas and practices.

I took the different suggestions and thought a lot about the dynamics of my own children and what they do and don't need, and came up with the following...

Continue reading How we're managing Video Game Time

How do you meter video game playing time?

It might be a sign of us buckling under to cultural pressure or perhaps the ongoing weight of constantly feeling like we're saying "no" to our children as they too process the divorce and changes in their lives, but Linda and I have agreed to let the kids have some Nintendo Wii play time this summer and each of us bought a unit and hooked it up.

First off, the Wii is one amazingly fun and brilliantly engineered device. With its motion-sensitive wireless controllers and the forced feedback mechanism, it's light years ahead of the Playstation 3 and Xbox 360, based on my experiences with all three.

Continue reading How do you meter video game playing time?

Press Release: Divorced Women's Dating Styles

[ this is one of the more peculiar press releases I've received in rather a while... ]

From Debbie Nigro
Chief Executive Girlfriend and Founder
First Wives World.com

Approximately 30 million women are transitioning thru divorce in the United States.

There are many different stages. Debbie put this friendly list together so both women and men can better identify the different levels before venturing into the dating scene.

DIVORCED WOMEN'S DATING STYLES

Damaged Daters - You don't trust anyone anymore with your heart. You've been burned. You are not so quick to jump back into another relationship, but you go anyway because you think you are supposed to at least try. Your cynical vibes smell defensive and stink up the room. Wear extra perfume.

I Don't Care Daters- You are not interested. You're energy is focused elsewhere. You need time to to find out who you are. You go just because someone's very nice but you really don't care, but you don't let him know you don't care. He doesn't pick up you don't care so he calls you again and you go again...even though you don't care.

... continues

Continue reading Press Release: Divorced Women's Dating Styles

Signing "Ask for ID" on my credit cards invalidates them?

I had a weird experience at the Post Office this afternoon when I tried to buy a roll of stamps and am hoping some of my blog pals can offer up some thoughts...

When I got the latest wave of credit cards I decided that this time, instead of signing them, I'd write "Ask for ID" on the back, as a bit of a fraud protection and identity theft prevention. So far, it's distressing to see how few people actually care about asking for my ID, even when I point out that's what I've written on the back. But that's another story.

This afternoon, we popped into the local Post Office and dutifully queued up until it was our turn, then asked for a roll of stamps, $42, and presented my credit card to pay.

Continue reading Signing "Ask for ID" on my credit cards invalidates them?

... and still, sometimes bedtime just stinks

Last night I was at a workshop until 10.30pm, which wouldn't have been a big deal if my kids would have cooperated with the babysitter and gone to sleep when they were supposed to. But they didn't and when I walked in, there they were, sitting in the living room, lights low, like zombies, waiting for me.

I chalked it up to the exacerbated separation fear brought on by our separation and the two different houses that they now inhabit: in fact, it was the first time they had a babysitter at bedtime here, rather than an afternoon playmate.

Still, it was a drag, and it took until almost 11pm for G-, our 8yo, to finally pass out, and his usual bedtime is around 8pm (though it typically takes him 30 minutes or longer to finally go to sleep).

Continue reading ... and still, sometimes bedtime just stinks

Taste Test: Hansen's Junior Water

Sometimes being a blogger is crazy fun, like when the PR agency from Hansen Beverage Company contacted me and asked if they could send along some product samples for the kids to try. The product? Their new "Junior Water" product.

I said "sure, but no guarantees anyone will like it, that we'll write positively about the product or that we'll ever actually write about it in the end."

They were okay with that clause and sent us a box of little juice boxes and a nifty little USB flash drive with product pictures thereon.

Unfortunately....

Continue reading Taste Test: Hansen's Junior Water